Showing posts from May, 2011


Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."Practice making fax and modem noises.Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.Holler random numbers while someone i…